Why routines fail me (and what helps instead)

Rigid routines have never worked for my neurodivergent brain — but soft rhythms and gentle check-ins do.

6/4/20251 min read

I’ve always wanted to be a “routine person.”
You know, the ones who wake up early, stretch, drink their water, check their planner, and follow the same steps every single day.

I tried.
I made charts. I used apps. I color-coded things. I set alarms and reminders and planned every hour.
And still — I’d wake up one day and it all felt impossible.

What I’ve learned over time is this:
rigid routines don’t work for me, because I don’t function the same every day.
My energy, focus, needs, and sensory load fluctuate constantly.
And no habit tracker can account for that.

So instead, I started building soft routines.
Not schedules — but rhythms.
Not demands — but invitations.

Now I check in with how I feel.
I keep gentle tools around me: visual planners, mood trackers, sensory prompts.
And if I don’t follow through every day? That’s okay. The system bends with me — not against me.

If routines fail you too, maybe you don’t need more discipline.
Maybe you need more softness.
And permission to start again, whenever you need.