I don’t work like others — and I stopped trying to

I used to think productivity meant waking up early, sticking to a schedule, checking boxes, and keeping up.
I tried to force myself into routines that looked good on paper.
I created to-do lists so long they gave me anxiety before I even started.
And every time I couldn’t follow through, I thought it was a personal failure.

But what if I was never supposed to work like that?

What if the problem wasn’t me — but the definition of productivity itself?

As an AuDHD adult, my energy is unpredictable.
Some days I’m focused, clear, full of momentum.
Other days I’m foggy, overstimulated, or stuck in a freeze state.
Trying to “push through” often made it worse.

So eventually, I stopped chasing the ideal version of productivity.
And I started building my own version — one that fits me.

For me, gentle productivity looks like:

• Working in short, flexible bursts

• Planning based on energy, not time

• Giving myself permission to pause

• Using visual tools that don’t pressure or overwhelm

• Tracking what feels good, not just what gets done

I no longer try to function like everyone else.
Instead, I create structure that bends with me — not against me.

That’s also why I started designing my own planning tools.
Not systems to “fix” me — but tools to hold me gently through the chaos.
If you’re curious, you can find them here:

You don’t have to prove your worth through productivity.
You don’t have to earn rest.
You can be soft and still get things done — just not in the way they taught you.

And that’s okay.